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Bo Mhaol Odhar Dhoire-Mhic-Bhrannadaidh
Apr. 20th, 2019 02:33 pmI've spent the past few days trying to do a re-tell of a story from Folk Tales and Fairy Lore in Gaelic and English (collected from oral tradition by Rev. James MacDougall (1910)) but it's just not coalescing. Probably because it's not so much a story as a bit of gossip.
Sort of like this ...
Did you hear about the problem at the McKenzie farm this week? Hmmm. Seems the cows have been getting out of the tathing fold and into the new corn. First time it happened, he thought that maybe they'd put up the pen wrong - you know how those folds are put together, don't you? No no no, not the permanent pens, I'm talking about the tathing ... you don't know what a tathing fold is? Really? Well ... I guess I'll have to tell you.
Tathing fold is a small pen that put up in a fallow field for the purpose of improving the soil. Which means just what you think it does. They put the cows ... or sheep ... in the small pen at night and while they are there they poop and pee and grind it all down into the soil with their hooves. Sheep are better than cattle, but McKenzie's got a number of fields that he uses in rotation so he uses both. And I suppose it makes it easier for the dairy maids to get in to do the milking if he's got the cows close in.
Anyway, first time, that's what he thought so he had his men rebuild the pen making sure that everything was tight and proper ... and they got out again. Not only that, but they made a beeline right into the cornfield again, and that shouldn't have happened. He's still not sure how they got over the stone wall from the one field into the other. But that's when he started thinking about the Howells. You know the two families have been at logger-heads ever since the McKenzie girl threw over the Howell boy and married into the Grogans instead. Which isn't to say she was wrong to do so - did you notice the shiner his wife was sporting last week? Walked into a door my eye!
Anyway, McKenzie set up patrols. Okay okay, he had a couple of his boys taking turns keeping watch but still and all, the cows got out and ... right smack into the corn again and this time the lads were swearing up down and sideways that they didn't hear a thing.
That was when McKenzie started getting spooked.
That was when he sent for Cam Porter. OOooo-eee! have you seen that man? Mighty fine! Not that I'd want to have anything to do with him, myself, all things considered. I mean, a lady wants some secrets and that man sees too deeply for my comfort. Second-sight they say.
Anyway, Cam came on and why not considering he's McKenzie's own brother. Foster-brother, brother, what's the difference? Cam told McKenzie to send his men to their bunks, that he and McKenzie would stand watch and that's what they did.
What I hear tell is that an hour or so after midnight, when all the cows were sound asleep and McKenzie himself was starting into dropping off, Cam heard a sound. He had to shake McKenzie awake because McKenzie didn't hear it himself. Only Cam Porter. Cam led him over the side, keeping low so they wouldn't be spotted and he ... Cam ... saw a long-haired brown polled cow knocking the fence apart ... from the outside, mind you. Tossing the stakes and posts over its shoulder, bold as anything. But get this, McKenzie doesn't see a thing. Or hear it either. He doesn't see the brown polled cow go in the fold, neither, nor see it force his cows up out of their sleep and on their feet, but he does see them start on out.
Cam tells him to keep quiet and follow - this while the cows are being herded right back into that cornfield by that brown polled cow. Ooooo ... but McKenzie was in a right swivet but Cam was adamant, just keep silent, follow, and watch. Not that McKenzie's seeing as much as Cam is, mind you. There's a reason they call him "The One-eyed Ferryman", you know, and it's not just his name. That Cam can see further with one eye closed than most men can see with spyglass.
Anyway, with Cam following the brown polled cow and McKenzie following Cam, they end up in a briar patch and that big rock they call McBrandy's, you know the one I mean? Yeah, that one. And the cow walks right up to the rock and it opens, just like a door. So Cam squirts up behind it, quick as you please, and jams his knife into the side, like it was wood not stone. Now McKenzie, he's still not seeing anything so Cam tells him to step on his foot.
Well! Once McKenzie does that, what does he see but a whole room inside the stone, way bigger than the stone itself. He said he saw a feasting table groaning with fine vittles and an great iron cauldron, which I know has to be wrong because whoever heard of one of the Others handling iron? And round the great fire in the middle of the room was a bunch of lay-about grey-haired old men, as big as trees each of them and the brown polled cow trots up to one of them and rubs up against him just like a dog coming home to its master.
Well, Cam drew in a lung-full of air and in as big a voice as he could make he shouted out "If that brown polled cow ever bothers McKenzie's folds again he himself was going to go in there and throw everything they own out into the salt sea." And then he pulls his knife out of the doorway and the door snapped shut and that was that.
Now, you think that that would just get the Little People stirred up like a hive of hornets but no such a thing. McKenzie said he's not had even a lick of trouble from them from that night to this and his corn came up better than ever. So I guess ol' Cam Porter knew what he was about after all.
the end.
Sort of like this ...
Did you hear about the problem at the McKenzie farm this week? Hmmm. Seems the cows have been getting out of the tathing fold and into the new corn. First time it happened, he thought that maybe they'd put up the pen wrong - you know how those folds are put together, don't you? No no no, not the permanent pens, I'm talking about the tathing ... you don't know what a tathing fold is? Really? Well ... I guess I'll have to tell you.
Tathing fold is a small pen that put up in a fallow field for the purpose of improving the soil. Which means just what you think it does. They put the cows ... or sheep ... in the small pen at night and while they are there they poop and pee and grind it all down into the soil with their hooves. Sheep are better than cattle, but McKenzie's got a number of fields that he uses in rotation so he uses both. And I suppose it makes it easier for the dairy maids to get in to do the milking if he's got the cows close in.
Anyway, first time, that's what he thought so he had his men rebuild the pen making sure that everything was tight and proper ... and they got out again. Not only that, but they made a beeline right into the cornfield again, and that shouldn't have happened. He's still not sure how they got over the stone wall from the one field into the other. But that's when he started thinking about the Howells. You know the two families have been at logger-heads ever since the McKenzie girl threw over the Howell boy and married into the Grogans instead. Which isn't to say she was wrong to do so - did you notice the shiner his wife was sporting last week? Walked into a door my eye!
Anyway, McKenzie set up patrols. Okay okay, he had a couple of his boys taking turns keeping watch but still and all, the cows got out and ... right smack into the corn again and this time the lads were swearing up down and sideways that they didn't hear a thing.
That was when McKenzie started getting spooked.
That was when he sent for Cam Porter. OOooo-eee! have you seen that man? Mighty fine! Not that I'd want to have anything to do with him, myself, all things considered. I mean, a lady wants some secrets and that man sees too deeply for my comfort. Second-sight they say.
Anyway, Cam came on and why not considering he's McKenzie's own brother. Foster-brother, brother, what's the difference? Cam told McKenzie to send his men to their bunks, that he and McKenzie would stand watch and that's what they did.
What I hear tell is that an hour or so after midnight, when all the cows were sound asleep and McKenzie himself was starting into dropping off, Cam heard a sound. He had to shake McKenzie awake because McKenzie didn't hear it himself. Only Cam Porter. Cam led him over the side, keeping low so they wouldn't be spotted and he ... Cam ... saw a long-haired brown polled cow knocking the fence apart ... from the outside, mind you. Tossing the stakes and posts over its shoulder, bold as anything. But get this, McKenzie doesn't see a thing. Or hear it either. He doesn't see the brown polled cow go in the fold, neither, nor see it force his cows up out of their sleep and on their feet, but he does see them start on out.
Cam tells him to keep quiet and follow - this while the cows are being herded right back into that cornfield by that brown polled cow. Ooooo ... but McKenzie was in a right swivet but Cam was adamant, just keep silent, follow, and watch. Not that McKenzie's seeing as much as Cam is, mind you. There's a reason they call him "The One-eyed Ferryman", you know, and it's not just his name. That Cam can see further with one eye closed than most men can see with spyglass.
Anyway, with Cam following the brown polled cow and McKenzie following Cam, they end up in a briar patch and that big rock they call McBrandy's, you know the one I mean? Yeah, that one. And the cow walks right up to the rock and it opens, just like a door. So Cam squirts up behind it, quick as you please, and jams his knife into the side, like it was wood not stone. Now McKenzie, he's still not seeing anything so Cam tells him to step on his foot.
Well! Once McKenzie does that, what does he see but a whole room inside the stone, way bigger than the stone itself. He said he saw a feasting table groaning with fine vittles and an great iron cauldron, which I know has to be wrong because whoever heard of one of the Others handling iron? And round the great fire in the middle of the room was a bunch of lay-about grey-haired old men, as big as trees each of them and the brown polled cow trots up to one of them and rubs up against him just like a dog coming home to its master.
Well, Cam drew in a lung-full of air and in as big a voice as he could make he shouted out "If that brown polled cow ever bothers McKenzie's folds again he himself was going to go in there and throw everything they own out into the salt sea." And then he pulls his knife out of the doorway and the door snapped shut and that was that.
Now, you think that that would just get the Little People stirred up like a hive of hornets but no such a thing. McKenzie said he's not had even a lick of trouble from them from that night to this and his corn came up better than ever. So I guess ol' Cam Porter knew what he was about after all.
the end.
