kimurho

PLEASE put this as your status if you know someone who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn't know, totally breathe fire. 60% of people WON'T copy and paste this because they have already been eaten by dragons. 38% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers, and the remaining 2% are awesome and will re-post this.

I posted this to facebook a few years ago; it came up in memories today so I reposted it.

But coincidentally enough, before I opened any programs on my computer today, I was gazing at the pearl in the open mouth of an oriental dragon and the thought occurred to me -- What if the pearl was a communication-translator device and dragons were visitors to Earth from another planet?

Halloween 2008
A new cave opened nearby. Relatively new. A year gone, or so. I wasn't aware of it opening, being as busy as I was with cleaning out Puxhill: chasing out bogles and imps, opening the corridors; removing debris from the various cellars and caverns within - you know what it's like to clean a place out. I only became aware of this particular cave when a friend brought some new acquisitions by to show them off. Dragon eggs, if you can imagine. Four of them. Found inside this new cave. Newish.

They are quite interesting. Somewhat larger than ostrich eggs, but not as large as you'd expect. Ten to twelve inches along the longest axis. And more colourful than you'd expect. One is a lovely shade of purple, another a bright crimson, and a third robin's egg blue with swirls of white - like cirrus clouds on a summer sky. The fourth is white, looking like an over-large chicken egg. They aren't particularly hard or brittle - not like bird eggs at all; but more leathery and supple. The crimson egg is distinctly hot to the touch.

Which reminds me, did you get the phoenix egg I posted to your address? I wasn't sure about the packaging. Be careful disposing of the cushioning material, I had to use abestos fibers because anything more flammable would. Burst into flames, that is. Arthur ... Professor Spiderwick, that is, was able to get his hands on some shuttle tiles for the outer layer. He's worried that even those won't be enough to contain the flame if the egg cracked. Please tell me it arrived safely?

But I was telling you about these dragon eggs.

My friend, the one with the four eggs ... Ren of the Well at the End of the World ... She said it was very easy to get dragon eggs. I guess the dragon parents don't guard them as closely as they do their treasure. But once an egg is touched by a human, the dragons reject it and cast it out to die. Poor thing. I think that some people tried to claim eggs and leave them in the Cave to hatch, but it didn't go well. Ren says that people are taking eggs from the Cave, incubating them and raising the hatchlings to full-growth but it's not exactly that easy. The eggs require a certain level of ambient earth energy ... magic, in short ... to grow. If the level of magic around them falls, they fail to thrive and die. Or worse.

Ren said that she's been moving the eggs every few days because ... well, I guess they absorb the energy, which does make some degree of sense. I suggested that, if she wished, she could leave her eggs with me to foster for a few days. Some of the lower caverns and cells contain dangerously high levels of magical energy. Arthur ... Professor Spiderwick thinks that the tunnels spiraling through the earth beneath Puxhill serve to channel and concentrate the energy of the earth into pure magic. It reminds him, he says, of the labyrinths of some cathedrals that focus the raw energy of faith and prayer into miracles. He's quite interested in studying the subterranean tunnels and chamber system here.

That was where we found the nest of phoenix eggs, by the way, in an upper cavern infested with salamanders. Arthur ... Professor Spiderwick, that is, speculates that the female phoenix may have been attracted as much to the surrounding magic as to the heat of the lizards.

2 November 2008
I am so excited; one of the eggs is cracking! Hatching, I mean! Not cracking. Getting ready to come out of the shell.

I've had several visitors interested in the dragon eggs. One of them, Master Jack Lemon, was reminded of something he called ... the Listerine Dragon, I think he said? A dragon he knew of from his childhoodhood. It had a campy way of saying Hello, he said and did his best to reproduce the greeting. I told him I'd never heard of this before, but he went on to reminesce about other dragons, one called the "Soup Dragon" from "Clangers" and a several others associated with either "Ivor the Engine" or "Noggin the Nog" or both. I'm not sure.

That was when I reminded Jack that I grew up on American soil. My childhood dragons were H.R Puffenstuff and Puff the Magic Dragon. And Barney, but he's a dinosaur and doesn't count.

Speaking of H.R. Puffenstuff - lately I'm finding myself getting his name confused with the Hogwart's School of Agricultural Sciences - Hufflepuff. Do you suppose there might be a connection?

Also, I am disheartened to report that we are still suffering from infestations of imps; it is difficult to keep them away from the eggs, though they don’t seem to be hurting them any. However, they do nip at us when we go to turn the eggs (to ensure even heating). Could you send us some more of that repellent you recommend; I can’t find it here, no matter how hard I look. Let me know if there is anything you need in trade, there are many interesting and useful herbs and creatures here in the Valley.

Not much more to add, so I’ll be stopping here. I’ll write next when I have something to say, probably after the eggs hatch. In closing, I remain,

Your devoted friend,
Magister Ki